Article: Fear of Failure

Discussion in 'Development, Skills & Advice' started by redumpire, Jul 30, 2008.

  1. braxer001

    braxer001 FHF Legend

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    Don't you think 'fear' of failure is a bit of a strong word when it comes to matters of hockey?

    Because I would say my drive for hockey origins more in love of the game and wanting to be the best than in fear of failure... which is quite a different approach I would say :) Yet I also find that for academical matters that fear of failure is a bigger drive compared to hockey matters, so I guess it's a. not a universal thing (differs in different individuals) and b. depends on what aspect/area of your life you apply it to...

    Sorry if this all doesn't appear to make sense but I'm thinking things that are hard to put to words atm (temporary brain block? it's also quite hot here) lol
     
  2. Grumpy

    Grumpy FHF Legend

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    I would agree it is hard as a non academic to put into express what i am describing.
    I personally feel i am more comfortable with the work place as in gereral i will have friends or facilities or line managers that problems and fears can be brought to and discussed.
    In hockey failure is very public and i feel with little support except at international level.
    If i fail or my team fails at no matter at what level i will be sacked and have to start looking for another position.
    When hockey is all you do and i only go to work to get enough money to participate in hockey this is a big factor in how i do my hockeyj.
     
  3. braxer001

    braxer001 FHF Legend

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    Hmm seems like I didn't appreciate the difference between a coaching position and being a 'regular' player :rolleyes:

    I can of course see that the pressure for a (remunerated or not) coach can be much higher than for a 'normal' player, because a 'negative' outcome can/will affect you more personally, therefore adding more 'depth' to the failure so to speak, which can result in making the fear of failure bigger. (or something like that)
    As a player, if you stuff up, sure you won't feel good and sure you may/will get criticised on by your peers, coaches and supporters, but that's all. You just need to work harder so you won't stuff up again...
     
  4. justin-old

    justin-old FHF Legend

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    Somehow you 'forgot' to add "England winning-back The Ashes", deegum lol

    (And 'Roger winning 5 Coronation Crowns in the Coronation Fun Sports Day'...100 yds, Sack Race, Obstacle Race, Slow Cycle Race, and Tent-Pegging on Bicycles :rolleyes: )
     
  5. redumpire

    redumpire FHF All Time Great
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    Care to explain exactly what that is Roger...? ???
     
  6. keely

    keely FHF Legend

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    ...and better yet, take all of it off this thread to PM's, please. :)
     
  7. Grumpy

    Grumpy FHF Legend

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    Totally agree :yes:
     
  8. g9

    g9 FHF Legend

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    surely a little off-topicness won't kill the thread, it keeps coming back on track as I think there is enough interest in it to hold its own....
     
  9. redumpire

    redumpire FHF All Time Great
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    OK, fair point. Is there a wrist-slapping icon anywhere... :)
     
  10. g9

    g9 FHF Legend

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    right next to my "Sweetness and light" one! ;)
     
  11. keely

    keely FHF Legend

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    People have asked me what I believe are the essential qualities an umpire must have. The first is intelligence, and that's pretty much innate. The second, and which is almost completely learned, is confidence.

    Confidence is more than the self-belief that you're going to excel, but the knowledge that your mistakes won't kill you and, as Neo put it very well, "taking a risk and trusting your judgment and accepting that not every decision may turn out technically correct." That kind of confidence is a byproduct of experience in sheer amounts of decisions under your belt, and taking the right approach to the large amounts of failure that come your way in deciding to make it a positive force rather than negative.

    Without experience, the only confidence you can have is that borne of ignorance. When my career started, I had that kind of confidence in spades. I had no idea what international hockey was about and how extraordinarily little I knew. I was absolutely blissful in my ignorance, and that gave me enough gumption to throw myself headlong into any game with no fear at all. To everyone else, and rightfully so, I was obnoxiously arrogant but not for any extrinsic reasons - I just didn't know that I was supposed to be scared.

    This takes me to an issue I'm having as an umpire coach and mentor. I've met a few umpires who I believe whole-heartedly have just as much if not more natural talent than I do, and are starting their careers at a younger age (giving themselves better health and more time to build their experience base). However, almost all of them have confidence issues - they're scared to go outside their comfort zone and the level of hockey that they commonly umpire at. As of a result of their fear, they refuse themselves experience and in effect, put off the inevitable mistakes that they need to be ok in making.

    How can I help them overcome that fear?

    Edit: removed comments about off-topicness.
     
  12. deegum

    deegum FHF Legend

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    Thats 25bob? Practically a weeks wages!!!
    Where I was,The local teachers canceled the sports day. overruled the local council because THEY had an invite to watch the Coronation on one of the 3 TVs in the town.

    I FEAR the Council FAILED to persuade them otherwise.
     
  13. Diligent

    Diligent FHF All Time Great
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    Not sure how at your level. However, we have been trialling a page of First Time Survival Tips, which has produced some astonishingly confident performances from some of those umpiring their first full game of hockey. Part of the text tells them what to do when things start to go wrong, and it seems to be this knowledge that makes everything OK. This is that bit:

    Just in case it goes wrong
    Accept that you can and will make mistakes.
    Sometimes you will get away with “Sorry, I pointed
    the wrong way!†Otherwise look to your partner for
    support; they’ll explain how that works during your
    chat before the start.

    That said; avoid signalling your partner’s decisions unless
    they look for help, and never blow for anything in their circle.

    If you miss something, never ‘even things up’ with the
    next penalty. Just concentrate harder, spot what happens,
    and make the next decision the right one. Bad fouls must
    be penalised, even if the whistle comes much too late;
    “Sorry, I can’t let that go.â€

    When it seems you are wrong on a big decision in your circle,
    it calms players if you stop time and meet your partner.
    They will describe what they saw and remind you of rules.
    But then the decision is still yours to award and signal.

    Don’t let appeals make or change your decision.
    If the appeal is correct, smile and tell them
    “Yes I saw it tooâ€, and if wrong “No it’s notâ€.
    And “Please don’t appeal†either way.

    For dissent after your decision such as knocking the
    ball away, be ready to advance the hit 10m or in the
    23m area upgrade to a Penalty Corner.

    If the back-chat is getting to you, then stop time
    and bring together your partner and both captains,
    who must make their players behave and leave the
    umpires alone. If they can’t then the yellow cards will appear.
    And that is their fault, not yours, so do not feel bad about it.

    If you’ve been given the right game and followed these tips,
    it will never come to that.

    But even if it does, have you survived? Yes.

    Finally
    Despite being your first game with umpire’s responsibilities,
    you can and should enjoy it.

    You will make mistakes; that is how you learn.

    The more you umpire the better you'll be.


    Perhaps there would be an equivalent for those on the threshold of greatness?
     
  14. keely

    keely FHF Legend

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    I guess what's challenging about mentoring these young umpires is that they have more knowledge than I did. They seem to be far more astute than I ever was at that point. The longer they stay at the same level, the more they learn about everything that comes after - almost like a kid staring at the pool from the platform of a high diving board who has the time to measure up all the markers around that let her know exactly how high that platform really is, when she should just run up and jump off.

    Is it ok to push?
     
  15. redumpire

    redumpire FHF All Time Great
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    Only if you're prepared to either (a) help put back the pieces after the most god-awful belly-flop or (b) melt into the background when the diver produces the most graceful arc dive you've ever seen.

    Knowing you Keely, I'm sure you'd be able to do both of those things. I'm not sure that we all would though...
     
  16. justin-old

    justin-old FHF Legend

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    No, IMO, it's not OK to push.
    There is a considerable likelihood of causing real physical or mental trauma :(
    (and it is only a game)

    There are much better ways of building confidence gradually and safely.

    Tent-pegging used to be done by 'lancers' on horseback .....it was a confidence(and skill)-building exercise, where they had to knock over tent pegs with the point of the lance, at full gallop...... the consequence of a mistake was often that the lance-point would hit the ground, with dire results :eek:

    (So not OT at all, you see lol )

    [And I'll bet there was a fair degree of FoF among the Coronation Day officials....... you can't say "Cut...can we do that bit again, please?" :) ]

    Which brings me back to my point about the best antidote being the knowledge that you are as well-prepared as you could be..... nothing knocks confidence more, IMO, than the knowledge that you have 'left things undone'...

    I suffer badly from 'testitis' when being 'watched'......I go into "I must do everything perfectly!" mode, even when, rationally, I know I am a satisfactorily competent umpire/driver/whatever.
    The least stressful 'watchings' I have had have been when the observer/assessor has taken the trouble to 'put me at ease' beforehand, and 'given me permission' to make the mistakes which are inevitable.

    I wonder how many 'watchers' have the skill to do this...only a few, in my experience.
     
  17. Diligent

    Diligent FHF All Time Great
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    Or rather the suspicion that things will go wrong in ways I haven't seen before, and I fear that my reaction will make it worse not better.

    To use Red's analogy: we get them to the higher board, check that, should they find themselves falling towards a belly flop, they know how to flail and twist and fold so it won't hurt (so much)... Then push. It's OK.

    For an umpire that means knowing what's different about: the limits of 'physical play', and conventions for 5m, 1m, shoulder height, 'near' where the offence occurred, and how players' better balance and skill affect advantage, etc. More vital is to plan for: 'something going on' that I can't quite see, or someone getting upset because that's the Nth time a particular trick has won a free hit from me.

    It's fear of the unknown. Knowledge should help.
     

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